Friday, April 03, 2020

On Repeat

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Hey, I just realized it's Friday. *Friday dance* Okay, I admit it. I'm losing track of the days because of the quarantine and our work/school schedules being all wonky. Earlier, I snacked on V8 and Jalapeno flavored Fritos...which should be one of the four basic food groups. I swear, those things are delicious. With V8, they're even better. Now I'm back in the writing cave, picking up where I left off on this project of dread. Writing, revising, and tearing my hair out trying to pull this story back on track. That's the name of the game. I made some progress on it last last night, and earlier this morning, but then I found another plot snarl to untangle. What's even worse is that I do this to myself. Yes, this is a NaNo project from last year. And Yes #2, I tried to go deep with this plot, and I'm paying the price now. I should have minded the KISS principle: keep it simple, stupid. But alas... That's what I'm working on. Fixing my own complicated mess. 

Since it's Friday, I thought I'd post another list!  A Virgo-ish fun thing to do. Does anyone else make lists all the time? Like, your desk is cluttered with 500 sticky notes that have lists on them? Asking for a friend. *cough, cough* 

Okay, today's offering is my current music playlist. Songs I'm obsessed with at the moment. I've been listening to these songs on repeat while writing, cleaning, sleeping... all the things. 
  • Cuts You Up - Peter Murphy       
  • Ziggy Stardust - Bauhaus            Sorry, Bowie fans. I have forever preferred this version.  
  • Hollow Hills - Bauhaus           
  • The Passion of Lovers - Bauhaus
  • Black Tears - Maria Loves Me
  • Unknown Song #1 
  • Something in the Way - Nirvana
  • Spotlight - Marshmello and Lil Peep
  • Witchblades - Lil Peep / Lil Tracy / GBC
  • Orlok - GVLLOW
  • Shake the Disease - Depeche Mode
  • Lie to Me - Depeche Mode
  • The Things You Said - Depeche Mode
  • Your Sweet 666 - HIM
  • It's All Tears - HIM
  • Run Away From the Sun - Ville Valo   
  • Salute the Sanguine - Ville Valo
  • Saturnine Saturnalia - Ville Valo  
That's it for now. I'm going to toss the clothes in the dryer and get back to work. I hope you have a happy Friday. Wishing you peace and many blessings. xoxo 

Wednesday, April 01, 2020

Quarantine Night Vibes

It's after midnight. The vaporizer is puffing steam, and everyone in the house is asleep except me. I'm presently sitting here at the comp in my Care Bears pajamas and drinking pineapple-coconut water. There's a Friday the 13th marathon cued up and waiting on me whenever I get around to it. That pretty much sums up home life right now: calm and cozy. I took the last of my antibiotics a couple of days ago, and my cough is much calmer now. It's almost gone. Big yay regarding that. 

We are having a lazy week, the three of us. Beast is still out of school, but some of his classwork is online so he's been doing that in the evenings. Jay is on rotation at the moment. It's his six days off. He goes in on Friday. There haven't been any shutdowns for the company he works for... so far. He works in industrial maintenance, and it's considered an essential service. We're still hoping the quarantine will lift and the economy will open again before the industry is hit with layoffs. We've been seeing it elsewhere, and it has a lot of families around here nervous. Us included. 

Anyway, we're hanging in there. I've seen a lot of memes online lately, posts of parents being driven bonkers by their kids, and couples at each others throats or ready to hide from one another, but it's nothing like that over here. Quarantine is just like any other day to us, except for when we have to make a dash to the store for pet food or something. We have our own little corners of the house where we like to do our own thing, and I guess we generally give each other space out of habit. But even then, we drop in and see what someone else is doing around the house throughout the day. Like, Jay might be watching a movie and we'll drift into the den and watch part of it, then go do something else. Beast has been going outside when it isn't raining and tinkering with nerf guns, and he even washed the cars out of boredom on Sunday. That sort of thing. Between bouts of Spring cleaning, I've been reading through my TBR stack books, then checking online now and again to see what's shaking over at YouTube. I felt well enough to do some writing the other day, and while I was going about that, Beast piled up in here for a while and watched a bit of this Christopher Lee Dracula movie I've had on repeat in the DVD player for the past few days. It's really no problem being shut in the with guys. We are a pack of homebodies and don't mind each others company. 

Moving along...  As I already mentioned, I've been feeling well enough to actually do some writing. Frontlist stuff, not backlist, which is a big change after all the work I did last year getting the backlist stories republished. I still have a lot of editing to do on that one novel I finished in November. *crying, wailing, gnashing of teeth* I've let it sit so long, it feels like it's gathering moss. I don't even want to think about how long it's been set aside. At some point, I'm going to have to face the damage and dive back in. Heaven help me, though. It's a hot mess. The dread is real. I was working on revisions, more like a second draft, when I came down sick. The pneumonia turned out to be too much, and I had to take a break. Ever since that effing book has been haunting me from the corner, whispering "Fix me, Cora..." Usually at 2 am, when I should be sleeping.  

I have the whole thing printed out, and I guess I should resort through that behemoth before tinkering around with anything new, but ya know how that goes... Plot bunnies love to spring forward from the mist when they know you need to be working on something else. I've written a couple of wild plot bunny scenes over the past few days, but I know at some point I have to get back to work on revisions, redrafting. Whatever you want to call it. 

That's it for now. I'm about to kick off this Vorhees marathon. I hope you're all doing well during the quarantine, keeping as safe and healthy as possible. Until next time, I wish you many blessings. xoxo 



Today's pic is by Kollsd on Pixabay.

Thursday, March 12, 2020

Missing Snuggles

The guys went to pick up a batch of crawfish for dinner, so I'm home alone at the moment, aka coughing into the void. I've received so many fun invitations I've had to turn down over the past two weeks, but it can't be helped. I'm on antibiotics for pneumonia and I still have the cough from hell. Yeah, the same cough I've had since Christmas. I'm feeling much better, but the fatigue isn't playing around. I run out of energy really fast.

A couple of days ago, my niece had her baby (!!! adorable alert!!!). It annoys me that I wasn't able to go to the hospital to have a peek at her, but she is several weeks early, and of course, I can't risk giving anyone my ick. I also couldn't go to the baby shower, so I'm really out of the loop. Boo, hiss! The baby is home now, and it feels like I'm totally missing out. :S Soon, baby! Once I'm feeling tip-top again, Jay and I will be making a trip to his sister's house to snuggle the new little tater leaf. I can hardly wait. I haven't held a baby since McBeast was a wee one.

That's all for now. Just a quick update, which kind of sucks, but it is what it is. Until next time, y'all, wishing you many blessings. xoxo

Friday, March 06, 2020

I Dreamed...

Last night I dreamed that I went to my aunt's house in Texas with my mother. Mom and Aunt Pam were meeting up there because they were going to fly out to Utah to attend a retreat of some kind. My job was to watch over the house until they got back.

The house was tip-top and clean as usual, and Aunt Pam had stocked the pantry for me and left a list of... I don't know, errands, maybe? Instructions? Emergency numbers? A shopping list? I don't know what it was, but she left it on the table for me. After that, Mom and Pam began to haul their bags out to Pam's car for the ride to the airport.

Once they were gone on their journey, I was sort of floating or wandering through the house POV style, until I came across my grandmother. She was sitting at the dining table with a cup of coffee and crocheting. She didn't look up at me, and I didn't say anything to her. It just seemed like the most normal, natural thing in the world. I thought, Oh, hey, I'm not alone in the house like I thought. Gram is here. I floated back out of the dining room and went to sit on the sofa in the den. The whole time I could still see her sitting there at the table.

I started to wake up about that time, and it was sort of like I could still see the dream running in my head, but I was more conscious of what was going on. It was then I thought, Wait, grandma has already passed. Then I thought about Mom and Pam making the trip together, and I was left behind in the house with Gram. That seemed so strange to me. Like I shouldn't be there. I kept wondering, Am I dead? Am I in the house with her because I'm dead, too? Or maybe it just means I'm going to die before Mom and Pam? 

It was really weird. Not alarming, upsetting, or scary in any way. Something about it just seemed very concrete and practical. It's difficult to explain.

Anyway, that's all I have for today. A weird dream to share. The entire house has relapsed with this coughing and cold mess. We're practically surviving off of cough drops and Dayquil. Thank Jesus it's Friday, because I think I need to steam myself under the vaporizer until I either turn into a human dumpling or I'm able to breathe again without coughing. Whichever happens first.

Until next time, be blessed. xoxo

Tuesday, March 03, 2020

Upper Respiratory Cooties

It's almost midnight... it probably will be well after 12 by the time I finish up this post. Anyway, I can't rest because I'm coughing and stuffy. We are a plague house over here. My cold came roaring back several days ago. Jay came down with it first. I was just getting over my tickly cough when he brought the ick back home to me. Then, because I have it, McBeast ended up with it, too. McBeast has it the worst of us all. His ears are super stuffy from it. Arg.

Last week I was at the doctor's office/hospital three times. My doctor retired, so I had to find someone else. I chose a female doctor in town, and it seemed from word of mouth that we would be a good fit. Well, tbh, I'm not sold on her yet. She has an abrasive bedside manner, and that can flare up my Irish temper pretty fast when I'm not feeling well. I value people being face-forward and down to business, but to be abrasive for the sake of it? Yeah, I'm not a fan of that. Maybe she was just having a bad day. We'll see how it pans out. If she can get this fatigue and chronic sinus infection under control, I can probably deal with the occasional snooty attitude.

Anyway, the day after seeing her, I had to go to the vampires for bloodwork. The woman there who did the needling this time was a dream to sit for. She was very good at her job. I'd write the hospital and give them a glowing review of her if I knew her name. She found the vein on the first try, and I never felt a thing. Absolutely zero pain. Bravo, gal. Seriously.

The third trip to the hospital was to have an ultrasound on my thyroid. The tech I went to see was super nice. As a side note, she looked like a young Chelsea Clinton. I'm talking more than just a passing resemblance. I didn't tell her that, though, because ... well, this is the age of people being offended about every damn teeny, tiny thing FFS. Yeah, yeah, it was just an observation, not a political opinion, but there was a 50/50 chance she might have taken the comparison poorly. You never can tell these days! It wasn't important, so I kept it to myself. Still, she really did look like Chelsea Clinton. Enough so that it gave me pause when she came into the lobby to collect me. She had the spiral curly hair, facial features, and everything. She could easily stand in as a body-double for young Chelsea in a movie or something. No kidding.

But about the third visit... For thyroid scans, they make you lie on a table with your neck on a foam pillow that's a half-circle so your head tilts back. The entire time I was on the table, I was trying very hard not to cough on her. It was super uncomfortable with that tickly throat feeling going on. Sigh. How extremely embarrassing for me. I didn't want to get in the way of her scanning me, but at the same time, I didn't want to cough on her either. I was very, very still the whole time, cramped up still to contain the coughs. She probably thought I was a total fruitcake or something. Oh well. I didn't cough much, so it was worth the effort. I'm just glad it's over with. I hope she didn't catch any upper respiratory cooties from me. I'd feel heckin bad about it if she did.

Alrighty. Here it is almost 12:40 pm. Yes, it took me that long to write a blog post. Double sigh. Okay, I was going to do a bookish thing before bed, so I better get on it. Until next time, y'all. Be well. Stay healthy. Use hand sanitizer, for real. Sending you love and many blessings. xoxo

Thursday, February 20, 2020

A New Shameless Crush

This is quite out of the blue, but yes, I am totally crushing on Finland at the moment. It all started when I was surfing around the net and stumbled upon a clip of someone snowboarding through a tunnel of trees in Lapland - at night.

My heart grew three sizes that day. No, not really. I'm not the Grinch (at least not most of the time), but that clip looked like the most beautiful fun thing in the world to do, and thus the love affair began.

I've looked for the clip again, but I can't find it!  I think it was on Instagram. It was just someone snowboarding through a perfect tunnel of trees, with the sky this gorgeous dark blue shade like in the picture of Helsinki above. (Image by arunas68 on Pixabay) At least, I think the clip was on Instagram. It could have come from a dozen other places, but after going through my comp history and everything, I still can't find it.

Before that, Finland was the shy boy in school for me. The guy sitting in the corner unnoticed. It has never really been on my radar in the way of vacation spots, but lately, after watching that snowboarding clip, I've been finding myself looking up the food, stuff to do, museums, places to stay in both Lapland and Helsinki, flight costs, Airbnb...  Basically, I've been vacation stalking this place, never mind that I currently can't speak more than three words of Finnish. #blush Even so, the more I see and read about the country, the more I really want to go.

We have been looking at taking a family vacation, but I don't know when that will happen or where we would go. There has to be a consensus on the location before we plan anything. I've been trying to lure the rest of the fam in with pictures of glass igloos for watching the aurora borealis. I'm not sure if it's working, but just today Hubz sent me a link to a travel agency that does surprise trips.

In the meantime, I've been watching YouTubers talk about their experiences in Finland, and I'm now following a couple of Discover Finland type of Instagram accounts. It's all so very interesting, and besides, it doesn't hurt to admire from afar. If I never make it across the pond to Lapland or Helsinki, maybe I will have acquired enough info about those places to write a story set in one of those locations. Either way, it's win-win.

That's all for now. Until next time, wishing you many blessings. xoxo

Sunday, February 16, 2020

Feeling Anxious, Might Defibrillate Later

Image by Enrique Lopez Garre
I'm two days late for Valentine's Day. Ho-hum. I started this post then, but it turned into a crazy and emotional day, so I gave up trying to write. McBeast had me jumping through hoops first thing that morning. I had to help him with his algebra: solving systems of equations by elimination. FUG. I had to look up the process because I have been out of school way too long for this math business.

Anyway, he had makeup work, and then small engine's class - even though technically he is on winter break. I drove him to the school, took a tour of the workshops with the students and his teacher, then I drove back home, stopping by the store on the way to pick up Hubz a card for V-Day. Once I was back home, I did a bit more on the algebra - creating an answer key so I could check Beast's work. Then I was like, what should I do now? I'm not used to having the house to myself anymore. I decided since it was his birthday, to call my bio father. I had been thinking and planning to do that since January. I actually was planning to drive over to his house, but I don't drive in the city anymore due to my anxiety. I'd be a jittery mess by the time I got there. Hubz drives me when I go over there, but since Hubz had to work, I decided, yeah, I'll call. Bio Father is in his 90s and has dementia. His wife always warns me when I call over there that he might not remember me. He remembered me, though, and was super happy to hear from me. Bless. That was the first heartbreak moment for me. He remembered me and says he thinks about me all the time. We talked for about twenty minutes about life and family and stuff in general. Then, he told me he sincerely loves me very much. Of course, I love him, too. Very much. When we hung up, I bawled for about thirty minutes. What else can you do after a convo like that? Time is a cruel master to us all. I was glad no one was home during or after that phone call so I didn't freak anyone out with my crying jag. I was a mess. It is what it is.

Today I am looking at my manuscript. It is a bloody, oozing, steaming pile of word slush. Just seeing it in this state makes me twitchy. It needs a rewrite, and I am mildly (okay, majorly) terrified of slicing into it again. At least there is this Mercury Retrograde, which kicks off today or tomorrow, depending on where you are in the world. Mercury Retrograde is great for redoing, reworking, and going over old projects. Stuff that has been previously completed. Either way, I'm more than ready to be done with this story. Stick a fork in it already, FFS.

That's all for now...after this very personal post.  Next time, I'll write about my new mega crush. 😍

Until then, I'm crawling back into the writing cave. Wishing you many blessings. xoxo