Sunday, March 20, 2016

Stress Rollercoaster

I haven't written about it yet on the blog, because I've been busy and stressed out, however I've already announced it on other social media so I feel I might as well own up to the fact that my dad is in very ill health. When we first took him to ER a few days ago, we didn't think he'd ever be coming home again. It looked that grim.

His diagnosis has swung from cancer, to not being cancer, and back to cancer again - just not as imminently life threatening as the initial diagnosis led us to believe.

Tomorrow morning, Dad goes in to have his right kidney, a tumor affecting the tube that leads from the kidney to the bladder, and a portion of the bladder removed. After the surgery, we'll find out if he has to go through chemo as a follow up. It's all I've been able to think about for the past 24 hours. It's enough to drive a person crazy.

We're all stressed out and anxious. We all just show it in differnet ways. Oldest hasn't spoken barely a word in the past three days. With mom, she's a chatty type, and I can tell she's nervous because I can't get in a word edgewise. Hubz is brooding and grumpy. On top of the panic, rapidly shifting news and emotions, my body decided to hit me with the worst sinus infection of all time. I can't smell or taste anything, and my ears feel like they're packed with cotton. Even when someone is talking to me directly, I can barely hear a thing!

The real waiting begins tomorrow, but in the meantime, I've been obsessively cleaning house, organizing devices, culling and moving things around, and updating all manner of things... the typical worrywart way of trying to control one's environment when absolutely nothing is under control. My nerves are shot, but my house is cleaner than it's been in the past six months. ♦

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