Last night I dreamed I was at my grandmother's old house with MiniBeast. We were waiting for the rest of the family to return from an outing, but they were late, and I was becoming frustrated, because I was ready to go home. I have no idea where the family had gone, or who I was specifically waiting for, but in waking life a lot of the family has since passed away - my grandparents, for instance. The house has special meaning to me, though. That house was a huge part of my childhood, and I spent many happy years there.
In the dream, I was sorting through a linen cabinet when I decided I was tired of waiting around and wasn't going to do it anymore. I told Mini to grab as many bags as he could find and we would start packing. Being a kid, he groaned at the suggestion, and instead of packing, he hid himself on one of the linen shelves and went to sleep. I went on to gran's room, opened the dresser, and began packing clothes. I was putting them into all these purses and totebags that I have hanging in my office in waking life.
In the middle of packing, the bedroom door opened, and this family I didn't recognize filed into the room. There were at least fifteen people, and they were dressed in their Sunday best. This elderly gentleman walked over to my grandmother's bed and set down two bulldog puppies on the bedspread. I was awed by one of the puppies because his brindle markings were an ombre black shade and looked like tiny scrolling leaves. Very strange.
The next thing I know, I'm standing in a busy airport with my Tokidoki vampire candy tote bag strapped over my shoulder. The bag itself is huge, and it's packed to the max. I've used it in waking life to tote college text books around, so whatever I was carrying - the clothes from my grandma's room, I guess - was quite heavy. I was looking around for my gate, when I saw Gweneth Paltrow standing about three feet away. She pointed toward my bag and said, "Excuse me. Do you happen to know the length of the drop?"
She was talking about the strap drop, which is the height from the top of the strap to the top of the bag. I told her I didn't know the drop size, so she walks closer and says, "May I?" I let her slip the bag over her arm to test it. Someone shouted back behind me, and I turned to see this group of guys, all of them dressed like dayglo versions of Wez (google it) stamepeding through the airport. I stepped out of the way just in time to avoid being knocked down, and I overheard someone saying that the guys had just come back from winning a championship football game. When they had passed by, I turned around to get my bag back, but Gweneth was gone. The dream ended with me wandering around the airport looking for her, because she still had my bag.
I guess the key themes in all that is frustration, being tired of waiting, packing, and taking off to the airport without even knowing where I'm headed. In a nutshell, it's about change. A desire for change. One I'm sorely tired of waiting for.
Lately hubby and I have talked in passing about moving. If we had the money, we would. Our house is paid off, though, and neither of us are crazy about having a mortgage again. Still, if I could afford a little house on Tybee Island, or a cottage in Biloxi (I'd want to live in one of those little neighborhoods right off Beach Blvd), I'd do it in a heartbeat. I told hubby my dream home is a small house in walking distance to the beach and a grocery store. I could do without everything else. I'd ditch my car and walk everywhere.
I've also been thinking about taking my career in a completely different direction. I've become really disenchanted with some of the stuff I've read in the forums lately. I keep asking myself why I'm clinging on when lately it's done nothing but remind me repeatedly that I'm not really one of the crowd. What's worse is I'm paying dues to feel this way. Why? Why am I doing this to myself? It's not necessary to stay in publishing. Add to that, my best, most trusted friends aren't even a part of that community. I know, I know... It's time to start reassessing my goals, but I keep putting it off, because...well, I just don't want to deal with it right now. There's the sad truth of it.
So all the packing, moving, the airport...it's all related to feeling overwhelmed and desperately wanting to initiate change for the better. As for why Gweneth Paltrow wanted my purse in that dream, your guess is as good as mine. ♦