Sunday, June 02, 2013

Weathering the Storm

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It's after two in the morning, and I'm sitting my comfy chair, listening to the rain hit my office window. We're under a thunderstorm warning and high wind advisory, so I'm anticipating the lights going out at any minute. I suppose that's fine since I'm going to bed in a few minutes anyway, but first, I wanted to blog while I have some free time to do so.

A few months ago, I dreamed about giant apples growing on the trees in our front yard. I'm sure you can probably search the blog and find the post where I wrote about the dream in its entirety. I still haven't figure out what it means, exactly, but I dreamed about the apples again last night.

I didn't see the apples themselves, but rather I remembered them in my dream. I'd been given this piece of paper - a diploma, certificate, or an important contract of some kind - and I was absolutely thrilled that I'd received it. The paper was a milestone for me, and as I held it in my hands and read my name on the paper, I started to have an internal conversation with myself. You did it. You reached your dream goal. You should be happy. That sort of thing. But self-doubt quickly found it's way into my thoughts. Within minutes, I had this internal war going on with myself. What I had accomplished wasn't good enough. It wasn't as high as I could go. Or something like that. It was vague in concept, but troubling.

Finally, I looked at the paper again, and remembered the apples. I don't know why, but I visualized them and suddenly I had this total change of attitude. I stopped beating myself up and said to my inner naysayer, you know what, you're missing the point. This is a good thing. It's what I've been working for, and I want it. So, I'm going to embrace it, and I'm going to enjoy this while I'm in this moment.

I woke up after that, and there was this residual feeling of accomplishment and change. It was nice. Worth remembering, so I'm writing it down.

In the morning (well, it's morning already, but you know what I mean), I have some revising to do. I hope the storm doesn't take out the electricity. Rainy days are perfect for hunkering down and working on writing projects.

That's all for now. Happy Sunday.

2 comments:

  1. Wild thunderstorms in northern New York too. I came back from my RWA chapter meeting in crazy winds that we blowing my little car all over the place.

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  2. Oh yikes! It's always scary driving in that kind of weather. Glad you made it home in one piece.

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