Today was hubby's last day - he'll be home tomorrow. We're going to rest through the weekened, and secure our plans, then come Monday we'll hit the road. I'm looking forward to this soooo much.
Yesterday Dad called, and he usually chats with me a few minutes then hands the phone over to Mom. This time was no exception, and since I haven't spoken to her in a few days, I was happy to hear from her. In the middle of our conversation, I hear dad in the background saying something, then mom says: Cora didn't ASK me to check in on her dogs - then for confirmation she says to me - Did you Cora?
This kind of shocked me because I hadn't asked, and since we're all the time house sitting her pets when she and dad go out of town, it seems a given they'd drop by just to check on them and make sure they're alive. You know, common courtesy. Reciprocation. Call it whatever the hell you want. I took offense with the way she asked me, which with a "Don't even think of asking me" tone in her voice. Wow.
So, she said, Did you Cora? And in my flattest, most serious voice, I replied. "No I did not."
Silence. You could've heard a pin drop. Why? I know how my mother's mind works and it just occurred to her that I didn't have any intention of asking her to check up on them. Sheesh, I can see how she's acting already so why should I? I want this trip to be stress FREE. Know what I'm saying?
I talked to hubby later than night and mentioned that Saturday I have to go to the feed store and buy extra buckets for food and water. We planned out what we would do with them while we were gone, and voila - problem solved, the dogs will have the food and water they need, no dog sitter necessary.
I thought this was a done deal, but this afternoon I get a call from Dad. He chatted with me a few minutes, asking when Hubby would be home. I told him, and then we talked for a second. I could tell something was on his mind. He quickly asked: Want to talk to mom? Sure. Why not?
Turns out she tired and in a bit of a mood. It can't be anything I've done since I haven't gone anywhere or done anything, unless you can count writing smut and eating ice cream. :P She tells me Dad wants to come over tomorrow and see the kids. That's fine, I tell her. She then asks when the vacation starts, and I told her Monday. There is a bit of silence and she says, "If you want me to, I can come by once a day. ONCE a day. And check your dogs.
"Well, Mom, you can if you want to, but hubby and I have the dogs covered."
She's quiet for a minute, then offers to come and sit with the dogs for a while, and let them out and back in. She is missing the point entirely. I do NOT want to bother her at all. The next time we go somewhere and do have to ask her to watch the pets, she won't be able to forgive me for weeks.
"If you feel you must," I tell her cautiously, "but otherwise, don't worry about it."
And I mean that. I really do. I firmly believe that you shouldn't offer to help someone if you can't do it with an honest heart. It never hurts to reciprocate the help later on, but never do it for that reason - you'll get squashed on down the road. Funny, too, because Mom would swim rivers for her friends, drive them all over the country, sit with them or their family members for hours on end if they asked her to.
She used to not be like this with me, and while I have my opinions about when her attitude change, I don't have any right to say anything to her or dad about it. But even with that in mind, I really don't know at what point I became the enemy. I've never been particularly clingy or needy, I've always been there to help when they needed me, and we've had such a strong relationship in the past. What the hell happened?
I turned my phone off when I got off the line with her. Come hell or high water I'm going to have a good time on my trip. I'm going to go, sleep very little, get mega sunburnt, swim til I'm sore, and spend too much money on a cloth doll. Oh, yes, I am. Hide and watch.