I'm really trying very hard not to go completely slapnuts crazy this morning, but I woke up and quickly discovered Mini was already up and about. I thought Hubby was already up and watching him, so I rolled over and slept for another 15 or 20 minutes - not very long because when I woke up again and the 30 minute kid's show I'd been watching before I dozed was just going off the air. Nevertheless, the second time I woke, I felt all guilty about sleeping in (it's around 5:50 AM at this point) so I crawl out of bed.
What do I see when I go into the den? First things first: Hubby is not here. Second: Oldest has his door shut to his room and is snoozing. And in the corner, I see the flash of glinty little eyes as Mini sees me and takes off running through the house like he's guilty of something serious.
OK. My stomach plummets at this point because I know he's been into something... I just haven't found it yet. Why else would a toddler be so quiet, after all?
I round the corner to the kitchen, and there it is. Fridge door hung wide open, and a liquid Strawberry Quik explosion all over the kitchen floor and the inside of the fridge. *sigh* Mini apparently thought it would be fun to finger paint in this as well; there are toddler hand smears all in it, and little red feet prints tracking it through the house. ARG!! When I finally track Mini down and corner him, I see he is head-to-toe mess of sticky, hot pink syrup. wARRRGGG!!!
Just when I think I have seen the worst of it, I return to the kitchen, turn on all the overhead lights and I see he has splattered more syrup up the walls in the dining room and on the blanket I've been using as a spill barrier on the couch in the den. In another corner of the dining room he has created a tribal masterpiece of strawberry liquid and the dog's dry kibbles. :S
Not amused in the least, I couldn't quite decide in that moment if I was going to have an effing aneurysm, if I was going to say fuck it, leave the mess for hubby when he returns from taking his friends that effing bottle of Scotch, or if I was going to just back to bed and pretend nothing happened at all until 9 am rolled around.
I ended up cleaning up the mess with good old fashioned hot water with some dish washing liquid mixed in. Oh, and a wash rag. Why not use a mop, you ask? Because for whatever reason it seems, whenever I buy a mop at our local stores, they only carry the mop, no replacement heads for the damn things. And when I did floors the other day, the sponge head on my mop gave out. So I am currently mopless. I can think of a string of expletives to add here, but I will spare you all a case of inflamed retinas and just say Murphy's Law.
Yes, I do realize it could have been much worse. Even so, I am moving Mini and Hubby onto my naughty list for today. Mini for obvious reasons, and Hubby for leaving so early in the morning to take his friends their Xmas gift without taking two minutes to drop by the bedroom door and tell me he was stepping out. If I'd known he was gone, I would've crawled out of bed as soon as I realized Mini was up. Instead I just assumed... and yes, I do that saying about assumed and assumption. :P
At any rate, the two household criminals of them can enjoy one another's company today, because as soon as hubby returns home I plan to plop Mini Bear into his arms so I can take off to go write. Why not? Since everyone else has already had their fun...
*fingers crossed for a semi-sane Sunday*