I originally thought of naming today's post "Break out the fat pants", but I decided not to lay any more karmic whammies on myself this close to the holiday season. :P See, I've been wearing the same 5 pairs of shorts all summer - khaki ones, denim ones, a plaid pair, a green pair, one pair that's blue with white piping... You get the idea. I've been wearing this haus frau haute couture all summer, not bothering to try on new stuff or really bother with clothes shopping.
What does this mean? It means I had no idea I'd gone up at least a jeans size UNTIL THIS MORNING.
I got up early to take Mini to the store (we were out of milk), and as a change of pace *epiphany* I thought I'd wear jeans! So, I pulled out my fave pair of Levi's and tugged them on - no problema. Then I went to button them. The noticeable snugness soon turned into: Erg. Arg. *strangle* Flop on bed. Weasle around. Stop and pant a while. Wrangle. Hop, hop, hop...
Okay. After about ten minutes of this I come to this conclusion that the pants don't fit! So I take them off and check them. Are they really "the" fave pair? They look like my fave pair - only, last time I remember, the fave pair actually FIT. Oh dear...
Glancing at the pics from Vicksburg, I realize I do appear to have more junk in the trunk than previously remembered. Hm... So instead of torturing myself with trying to fit into the fave jeans (now AKA the "skinny" pants, but previously known as the "no one notices these are my fat pants" pants), I hid them in the closet and wore my khaki shorts instead.
At the store, I dropped into the women's department and bought a new pair of jeans - these shall now be known as the "new and improved" fat pants. Oy vey. When did it get to this point? When did the pounds creep in, and why did they choose to land THERE - in the midsection - giving me extra muffin top? :P Why didn't the pounds go further south, to my hips? Or even to the extreme north boob section - that would have been acceptable too. Why the tummy? Why? Why?! *shakes fists at the gods*
All this makes one think: Okay, so I did get a second plate at the Chinese buffet. And I did ALLEGEDLY have two cakes at my birthday party. But even though the food was there, did I really eat that much?
I've been debating this all morning while laundering my new clothes. Suits me right, I guess, going back for seconds. Now I have a new mission. *groan* Drop an extra ten pounds *double groan* and get back into the pants formerly known as the fat pants.
Darn Tuesdays. Shouldn't I have made this revelation yesterday - on a Monday? Holidays threw it all off kilter, I guess. Isn't that just the way? Ah well. Better break out the Atkins guide and start reading up... :P