Anyone remember that New Order song, True Faith? I used to think that the day would never come...
Well, it has happened. I, former goddess of the horrible fashion faux pas, had to stop Oldest at the door this morning to prevent his own mini fashion disaster. I remember being 17 and swearing to the forces that be I would never tame my kid's fashion sense - unless of course they were about to walk out of the house in ass-less pants ala David Lee Roth. (Hey, a girl's gotta have her standards.)
Because the school once again made School Of Academic Excellence on their exams - and therefore the jerks on staff got their funding - they let the kids wear street clothes this week instead of uniforms. The black pants, the black shirts... I'm ok with it. The layered on clothes in order to achieve a look when we're having 100 degree weather... uh, it ain't gonna happen. The last thing I need is a call from the emergency room. I told Oldest to take off the undershirt and WHOA! Such attitude the masses hath not seen! There was about to be a full on Irish smackdown going on in my dining room until the offending long sleeved garment was removed. And understand I am QUEEN of the Irish smackdown in this house - make no effing doubt.
Much pouting and ranting ensued, followed by a backpack check that revealed the shirt which I'm sure in a parallel universe is now being held in an evidence locker somewhere.
NOTE OF ADVISORY: warning-warning-warning-warning
If you're currently 16 or somewhere thereabouts and reading this post right now (You shouldn't be here for one thing, so SCRAM!) But if you are, and are saying/thinking either of the following: What a bitch! OR That's so not fair! I have but one thing to say to you. Karma, sweetie puff.
One of these days, when I'm sitting in my rocking chair, YOU will be trying to keep your @#$%! child from running out the door in David Lee Roth ass-less pants, and I am going to piss my Depends laughing. Why? Because it's the turn of the universe. And given my calculations, some old fart with a fashion resume *eye roll* will do a David Lee Roth resurgence, and ass-less pants will once again be in style. Everything, as they say, goes in cycles.
I did manage to get Oldest out the door, no bloodshed involved. All this pre-coffee. I feel pretty damn accomplished. Now Mini is running around the house with the loudest toy he could find in the bin. In the wise words of Bill the Caveman: "When will the hurting stop?"
It's that time again...
Thirteen Things I wish I had RIGHT NOW
2.) Ability to freeze time - and ultimately shut mouths - in the blink of an eye
3.) Telekenetic power - aka, the ability to bodyslam from a distance
4.) Ability to clear obstacles with a mere thought - Road Rage prevention!
5.) Mind control! *oogly boogly music here*
6.) A Magic 8 Ball with the answers to all the universal questions
7.) To know the QUESTION that goes with the #42. :P
8.) Cherry red Doc Martens to go with my new jeans.
9.) A really buff man in a loin cloth.
10.)4 more hours of sleep.
11.)Piping hot coffee delivered just for me. :*>
13.)My own personal Fortress of Solitude.
Happy T13 everyone!