Thursday, September 13, 2007

The Morning Sun

Anyone remember that New Order song, True Faith? I used to think that the day would never come...

Well, it has happened. I, former goddess of the horrible fashion faux pas, had to stop Oldest at the door this morning to prevent his own mini fashion disaster. I remember being 17 and swearing to the forces that be I would never tame my kid's fashion sense - unless of course they were about to walk out of the house in ass-less pants ala David Lee Roth. (Hey, a girl's gotta have her standards.)

Because the school once again made School Of Academic Excellence on their exams - and therefore the jerks on staff got their funding - they let the kids wear street clothes this week instead of uniforms. The black pants, the black shirts... I'm ok with it. The layered on clothes in order to achieve a look when we're having 100 degree weather... uh, it ain't gonna happen. The last thing I need is a call from the emergency room. I told Oldest to take off the undershirt and WHOA! Such attitude the masses hath not seen! There was about to be a full on Irish smackdown going on in my dining room until the offending long sleeved garment was removed. And understand I am QUEEN of the Irish smackdown in this house - make no effing doubt.

Much pouting and ranting ensued, followed by a backpack check that revealed the shirt which I'm sure in a parallel universe is now being held in an evidence locker somewhere.

NOTE OF ADVISORY: warning-warning-warning-warning
If you're currently 16 or somewhere thereabouts and reading this post right now (You shouldn't be here for one thing, so SCRAM!) But if you are, and are saying/thinking either of the following: What a bitch! OR That's so not fair! I have but one thing to say to you. Karma, sweetie puff.

One of these days, when I'm sitting in my rocking chair, YOU will be trying to keep your @#$%! child from running out the door in David Lee Roth ass-less pants, and I am going to piss my Depends laughing. Why? Because it's the turn of the universe. And given my calculations, some old fart with a fashion resume *eye roll* will do a David Lee Roth resurgence, and ass-less pants will once again be in style. Everything, as they say, goes in cycles.
-end warning-


I did manage to get Oldest out the door, no bloodshed involved. All this pre-coffee. I feel pretty damn accomplished. Now Mini is running around the house with the loudest toy he could find in the bin. In the wise words of Bill the Caveman: "When will the hurting stop?"



It's that time again...
Thirteen Things I wish I had RIGHT NOW

1.) Chocolate
2.) Ability to freeze time - and ultimately shut mouths - in the blink of an eye
3.) Telekenetic power - aka, the ability to bodyslam from a distance
4.) Ability to clear obstacles with a mere thought - Road Rage prevention!
5.) Mind control! *oogly boogly music here*
6.) A Magic 8 Ball with the answers to all the universal questions
7.) To know the QUESTION that goes with the #42. :P
8.) Cherry red Doc Martens to go with my new jeans.
9.) A really buff man in a loin cloth.
10.)4 more hours of sleep.
11.)Piping hot coffee delivered just for me. :*>
12.)Baklava!
13.)My own personal Fortress of Solitude.

Happy T13 everyone!

8 comments:

  1. I can help with the baklava. I dated a Greek dude once. Why is it I always broke up with the guys, but managed to keep their mothers as friends? ::grin::

    I also made one hell of a Greek Salad and can down ouzo with the best of them! LOL.

    Well, you know, I did get to cop a feel on those ass-less pants once back in the day...umm, I think I've said enough.

    I don't want to get your Irish up. LOL ((hugs))

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  2. Oh Karma. You are soooo right. I laugh at my mother. The things she did to my grandmother as a child went from bad to worse with the stories I was allowed to hear as I aged. Now, looking at my younger sister and the headache she causes, I just laugh.

    It's what my mother gets for saying she's going to get gasoline and coming back three days later with a new boyfriend. ;)

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  3. I could go for a Fortress of Solitude. You know the trouble with family vacations?

    You have to take your family.

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  4. LOL on the David Lee Roth ass-less pants! I remember those and shudder at the thought they might make a come back.

    Loved your 13 list too.

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  5. Cass, oh gosh, don't tease with the baklava... or that Greek Salad. I swear, comfort food sounds pretty good right about now. LOL!!

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  6. OMG! Isabelle, that's so true. Listening to stories of my mom growing up, you'd think she was a saint. But my dad? It's amazing he's still able to walk the earth a free man. From his toddler years, it's amazing he hasn't been confined.

    I'm getting a bit of my own wild child ways back from Oldest, but on a pinch. He's an angel in comparison to my horror stories. However, Mini... there's still the chance I may get it ALL back through him. *_*

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  7. Ann, now that is true wisdom.

    The last time I went to hubby's home town with him, it was a nightmare. I swore never to travel with him again. (Of course, I have since then. But not without a thorough warning before leaving home.)

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  8. Hi Tess! Yeah, those assless pants... scary thought. And not just in context of us mere mortals. Can you imagine DLR wearing those NOW? *_* ROFL!

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