Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Rubber Duckies, Bubble bath, and Demons

Mini sacked out early yesterday evening, and once I put him to bed it occurred to me, "Hey! I can have a bath without a toddler leaning over the edge of the tub to splash in my water!"

Ah, a bath... a real bath. In private, with the door closed, and everything! No toddler hands to spat while trying to shave my legs. No trying to keep stray legs off the edge of the tub, or chubby little feet from dipping in my gloriously HOT water. I dashed to the bathroom like there was no tomorrow.

All is right in the universe. The house is quite, Oldest and Hubby are both fending for themselves, and I'm filling up the tub, running a brush through my hair - which I intend to take my time to give a thorough wash with conditioner and everything...

And then it hits. Inspiration.

I suddenly, inexplicably, have The Fix for my demon story. It's a revelation. I have discovered that one missing element I sensed was missing, but for the life of me, couldn't seem to put my finger on. Of course, I come to this grand realization after I've managed to undress. Typical!

After a moment of handwringing, I open the door, and bustle naked down the hall where I can peek around the corner. Hubby is in the kitchen. Great!

"Hey, you!" Hubby looks at me like a deer caught in the headlights. "Bring paper and pens. Quickly!"

It is at this moment hubby realizes I am sans clothes. "Oh, yeah, I'm sure this is very funny, Mister. Now bring me something to write on!"

Ultimately bends to my evil wishes. *just kidding!* He brings me a few sheets of computer paper and a pen, that I quickly carry back to the bathroom with me. I shut the door, adjust the running bathwater, and write down as much as I can, as fast as I can. It's amazing what you can come up with in just a few minutes of quiet time. I ended up with snippets of dialogue, pieces of a fight scene, descriptions of scenarios and characters and... I still managed to have my bath!

A little later, hair wrapped up in a towel, I settled down with the ol' laptop and jotted down a full scene. I made corrections. Things are flowing again. Ah, it's almost like a day at the spa... Who'da thunk it?

A joke before closing...
(This is one hubby sent to me. Here goes!)

Albert staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Rob. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. The whiskey bottles he had stuffed in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Albert sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid, as best he could, on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and staggered off to bed.

In the morning, he woke up in horrible pain, and to make matters worse, there was Mary, arms folded, staring at him from across the room. "You were drunk again last night weren't you?" she accused.

"Now, why would you say such a mean thing, Mary? Whatever would make you think I've been out drinking?"

"Well," she said smartly,"it could have something to do with the front door standing open. Or, the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, and the drops of blood trailing through the house. But mostly, Albert, it's all those Band-Aids you stuck on the hall mirror."

Happy Tuesday, folks!

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