Saturday, December 09, 2006
To: Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Tempest's Office party. It was Cassandra who spiked the punch with too much Godiva Chocolate Liquer. I can't help it if I drank 9 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like mint.
I thought it was funny when I put Tempest's sock on my head and danced the robot on the sofa while singing `God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen'. I didn't mean to break Tempest's iPod and don't know why Tempest would accuse me of assault with a deadly weapon.
I don't remember calling Reginald's wife a ruthless cow---even though she looked like one with white eye shadow and beige lipstick! And when I threw up on Holly's husband's thigh, it was only because I ate too much of that green bean casserole.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Minivan through my neighbor's dining room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a drunken wildebeast and have me arrested for reckless endangerment!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all sad and blue. And I'm really not to blame for any of this freaky stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and heartlessly yours,
Cora (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 500 bucks!
To create your own silly Santa letter, visit here. Happy weekend, everyone!