Monday, November 27, 2006

Arrogant Ambition

I have no idea what I'm going to do with Oldest in the long run. I was talking with him the other day about what he wanted to do after high school. I hope he goes to college--kids can be stubborn and want to skip it--hell, I am one of those. He wants to be a video game designer. Ok. That is enough to unsettle me, but it's not only that--he doesn't want to go to school for it. He thinks he should just be able to walk into a major company, sit down with player stats jotted down on lined notebook paper and they will create his game and give him billions of dollars. I'm glad he's a creative kid, but he fails to understand how competitive that job front is, or how skilled those folks are. Oldest's response when I asked him what he was going to do if he didn't get the job he doesn't want to go to school for: "Well, if they don't recognize talent when they see it..." And shrugged it off like it was the company's loss. His blind arrogance absolutely startled me!

Only this past summer, Oldest came to me wanting to take art lessons. I found a place at La Tech, which has a great art program, btw, and told him I could get him in there for about $150 as a day camp sort of thing. He was all about it, until he realized he'd have to draw things like apples in bowls, and studies in light and shadow, etc, instead of whatever he wants. I mean, if my parents had been willing to send me to even a camp! I can't even imagine where I'd be now. I'd be drawing apples like I was of the mind I'd never be seeing them again.

I have no idea where his attitude is coming from. And since he is not applying himself in school despite all the offerings of help, I truly worry. I mean, I know high school isn't everything, but where does he think he's going to get in life? This sense of entitlement he seems to have... He has seen the competition in art alone. Hell, look at some of the amazing shit on deviant art.

Someone, please, give me valium before he hits 16!